Overview
In a time when milk and cereal ruled breakfast, a fierce corporate battle begins over a revolutionary new pastry.
In this era of business rivalry biopics, we have had a look at footwear with Air, gaming with Tetris, mobile communications with Blackberry, and even spicy crisps with Flamin’ Hot. So it was only a matter of time before another rivalry had a spotlight shone on it – that of the cereal wars – and who better to shine that light but breakfast obsessive comic himself, Jerry Seinfeld. With Unfrosted he takes a look at the rivalry between Kelloggs and Post in the 60s, which led to the creation and success of the Pop Tart.
Except, he doesn’t.
Instead, he offers an extremely fictionalised look at the cereal war in what I can only assume was an attempt at comedic satire, but which fails to raise many smiles, and certainly doesn’t have any bite to it as a satire should do. You see, Jerry Seinfeld just isn’t as funny as he seemingly thinks he is, and as writer (well, one of them), director and star here it just comes over as an excuse for him to bring that same level of camera mugging gurning that those small stand-up routines on old Seinfeld episodes that, let’s be honest, weren’t the funny parts of that show. Indeed, pretty much every fan of Seinfeld will admit that it really fell off in the years that Larry David wasn’t involved, highlighting the true genius behind the scenes on that show.
What transpires over the unnecessary 93 minutes on offer here – there is perhaps a ten minute comedy sketch idea within here, dragged out needlessly – is just a barrage of small skits to let a wide range of celeb folk pop up and have a brief moment on screen. The main players are Seinfeld himself, Melissa McCarthy, Amy Schumer, and Jim Gaffigan, and each grow more and more annoying over the course of the film. Cameo moments from Peter Dinklage and Christian Slater proffer an almost decent idea about the milk industry opposing the formation of a milk-less cereal option, only to lead to what is effectively a fart gag. Bill Burr, Dan Levy, Tony Hale, Maria Bakalova, Dean Norris, Cedric The Entertainer, Fred Armisen…the list of names popping up is huge, but none really add much, if anything, to the film. The only standouts are a delightful turn by Hugh Grant as Thurl Ravenscroft, the voice of Tony The Tiger, who gets to have a glorious third act moment as he riots against the cereal companies, and also a very brief moment in the film with Jon Hamm and John Slattery as two very familiar ad execs pitching a sensual take on the Pop Tart. Outside of those two moments, this is too messy to even raise a chuckle.
Unfrosted is unfortunately unfunny and unbelievably unengaging, and I wish I could unwatch it.